The Oakley Saga

I told you the story about getting hit by a car and that the worst injury I sustained was the loss of my prescription Oakley Whiskers (if you haven’t read you can find it here) I was a little miffed when the eyeglass store where I initially purchased them told me they weren’t going to touch them and that I had to return them directly to Oakley for repair obviously passing the buck.  What stood out with me in the conversation I had with one of the employees is she said that neither they (the eyeglass store) nor anyone else for that matter can make lenses for Oakley glasses.  Oakley, she claimed, were the only people that make lenses for the frames.  Made sense to me at the time, sure why not why would any company want someone else to make parts for their product?  I depart the store with a 800 number and head home.  I call and explain the situation that I have a pair of prescription (please remember the fact that they are prescription this will come up again in a moment) Whiskers that are broken and need to know how to proceed.  I was emailed a UPS shipping slip was told to mail them bad boys in and in 3 to 4 weeks I would have a new frame for the low low cost of $49.00-$69.00.  Easy I thought right?

 WRONG!  I notice early last week that there is a charge on my check card for $49.00 and moments later I get an email telling me that the Whiskers are en route back to me.  I was provided a tracking number and I track the shipment like I usually do.  They are delivered to my house on time and life is good and balanced again, the planets are back in alignment, the sun in shining, and the birds outside are singing the praises of the Whiskers which incidentally took around 6 weeks to get back to me.  I open the tiny box ready to fully embrace the glasses……and I find this:

 As you can see the frames were sent back with the lenses removed.  I mutter and I complain and figure that there is some kind of Oakley policy about shipping glasses with the lenses in them.  So I try to put the lenses back in and am having no luck at all.  Now, I know myself good enough to know that when frustrated and when things don’t exactly fit a certain way I force them to fit or break stuff trying.  I decide that since they are new I may need to cool out a bit and walk away and try again in a few minutes.  I have a cup of green tea, check some email, read a light chapter on metaphysical existentialism and return to the frames and lenses.  30 minutes later I am still trying and growing increasingly pissed off at the whole situation.  I decide to call Oakley to express my extreme displeasure at this ordeal.  I call and I am on hold for nearly 18 minutes when a customer service rep comes on the line.  I explain the whole deal and he says “They should have never been shipped to us we do not do warranty work on PRESCRIPTION sunglasses.”  Huh?  I was told it is their policy to not repair, replace, or other wise be bothered with prescription eyewear.  He gives me the name and address of an authorized Oakley dealer and bids me farewell.

 I drive, in city traffic, to the aforementioned dealer which incidentally takes approximately 35 minutes.  I then take the 10 minutes needed to explain to the employee what is going on and she waddles off to the back to pass the glasses on to the eyeglass fixer guy (is there an official name for a guy that repairs glasses?)  She returns to the counter a few minutes later with frames in one hand and lenses in the other.  I am then told that the lenses do not fit the frames that the lenses are too big for the frames blah blah blah.  

Now I am steaming, I head out to my car and immediately dial 1-800-OAKLEY-SCREWED-ME and I am instantly put on hold….for the entire 35 minute ride home.  I am pacing in my garage when a human actually picks up on the other end…after 45 minutes of hold time.  I explain the WHOLE thing again only now I feel the need to add the part about how the lenses no longer fit the frame, the hour I have wasted driving back and forth to the eyeglass place that they recommended and the purgatory they call a 1-800 customer service number.  Then the unthinkable, I am put on hold again so the customer service guy can tell some other customer service guy the situation.  13 minutes later another, and different, human picks up the line and says the lenses I sent in with the broken frames were not Oakley lenses?  I argue that its not my problem that this fight is between they (Oakley) and the place I bought them since I was obviously lied to.  He hummmms and hawwwwws and he decides to email me a shipping form and I have to send the frames and lenses back to them.  So apparently I am going without my sunglasses for another 8 weeks.  To further insult me and insinuate that I have nothing but time to waste they send me a US Postal Service label and one of the requirements is I have to DRIVE to a mailing facility get a special stamp, have the USPS worker sign this form that I am supposed to include with the packaging.  I will add this to the epic time sucking waste that Oakley has put me through already.

I will depart from this story to fill you in on a fact you may not know, I drive a fire truck for a living and in doing so I need to be able to see where I am going both during the day and at night.  This is where important things like prescription sunglasses come in. 

Now I am not THIS guy, or THIS guy, and by far I am not THIS guy I am just a regular working class nobody that wants and demands quality product and if there is a problem with that product I expect it to be taken care of in a professional and timely fashion.  I was until this instance a die hard Oakley customer and have been for years even before I required a prescription in my sunglasses.  You can bet your sweet ass in a few months when I go in to buy new glasses and sunglasses the brand Oakley will not even be considered.