Sheesh I have not posted since before Thanksgiving….admittedly I am a slacker. Thanksgiving was fine, despite the temptations of a full dessert table and all of the fixings and trappings that come with such a feast I stood fast and did not cave. I probably would have however my Sister-in-Law and Brother made some special dishes just for me. After much cajoling telling them not to go through the trouble of preparing ME anything special…well they ignored my pleas. They conjured up a vegan dish that was so good it nearly melted my face clean off of my skull. Surprisingly (not really) no one else in the family even came close to eating any portion of this dish leaving me with all of the leftovers….that my friends is how you turn a frown upside-down. I started off the day with a ride, taking advantage of the non existent holiday traffic patterns; essentially I had the road all to myself. 24 miles in sweet solitary and 24 miles of absolute pain. It was about 30 degrees and I am still severely under prepared for cold weather riding. My toes and feet were absolutely numb when I got home. My fingers felt like they were frozen in place wrapped around the handlebars and my throat felt like someone glanced across it with an oxy-acetylene torch.
With that being said I laid out a battle plan for this cold weather riding business the plan consisted of buying a lot of gear for just such instances. So into the shop I trot eyes glazed over with anticipation of newly purchased swag, warm swag, comfy swag…you get the point. It took exactly 54.2 seconds to dash my dreams into the rocks, for this is how long it took me to put on a riding jacket in the largest size they had only to find out it still does not fit. Now, nothing can take the wind out of the sails of your weight loss ship like that of a item of clothing not fitting, compound that fact by the fact you don’t fit into the largest size carried in the store and you get just downright depressed. If that is not depressing enough go to the website of your favorite brand of bikes, clothing and equipment only to find out they don’t make a bigger size…and you straight up feel like Jabba the Hut. Come on now guys if XL is the largest you make I feel you can do better especially if your XL is like a medium….you know who you are.
There was a silver lining to this tempest though. I am Irish and what is the first thing you think when you think “Irish”? No not that thing…..nope guess again…..come on….fine I will tell you what you should be thinking “LUCK” you know like “Luck of the Irish.” The only issue is I am the un-luckiest Irishman you will ever meet in your life. If I didn’t have bad luck I would have no luck at all. On with the story, I ask for some cold weather shoes….they have one pair. Not one style they literally have one single pair in the store. I think to myself “Yeah probably in some elfish like size….damn my luck” he brings them to me…size 46….anyone want to guess what size I wear? I WEAR A FREAKING 46! I snatch them out of the box and strap them upon my feet…..perfection. Are they warm I ask…..I am assured that they are indeed warm. Welcome to the bonus round of this story, they are also on sale, not regular sale, not insane sale, they are on ridiculous sale. I slap my money on the counter and scamper home.
I can’t wait to get them on and ride so I make haste, they are warm and they are crazy comfortable. This is the third pair of riding shoes I now own and by far the most comfortable…love them.