My Santa-Orwellian Conspiracy Theory

Posted: December 29, 2010 in Daily Weirdness, Jackassery, Life, Minor Psychosis, Ramblings, Ridin

Honestly the whole idea of a Santa Clause frightens me, I mean take a few minutes and think about it.  A guy who lives in the barren tundra of the North Pole, really out of shape, works one day a year and the rest of the time hangs out with elves?  That’s creepy right?  Then add the fact he can get into everyone’s house, keeps tabs on everyone formulating a list of who is naughty and nice all from atop the world.  It’s a bit…oh….I don’t know….1984 for me.  There are too many overtones of “Thought Police” for my taste.  Children writing letters to him asking for toys, begging to be placed on the nice list despite the fact they may or may not have pulled Suzie’s pigtails at lunch or issued that “noogy” to that pre-school brother of theirs.  Furthermore, while I am ranting and raving with no clear purpose, just what constitutes good and bad, naughty and nice?  Is there a rule book, is there a website, and is there a Facebook page dedicated to naughty and nicety?  If there rules aren’t clearly printed in black and white somewhere and freely available I don’t think we should be held to a constantly sliding scale of what is naughty and nice, tell me you agree?

I say all of that to say this; I must have been really really good this year cause Santa delivered to my house (even though it creeps me out thinking this dude was in my living room) a bounty of cycling goodness.  I hereby declare that despite the fact my Kit is already better than yours (a subject I have touched on here) I am now three times better looking than probably 93.862% of all cyclists because I found two new cycling jerseys under the tree this year.  Thus bringing my total count of jersey awesomeness to 5.  Now I have other jerseys, however 5 of them are of such radness they strike fear and trepidation into the deep recesses of a person’s soul when they are looked upon.    Of course it being winter in Michigan you will not be able to see these two new additions for another 8 months…which brings me to my second point of why I must have been so dang good this year.  Under the tree I also found the Sugoi Neo jacket I have been drooling after since last winter.  So while the awesomeness of my daily jersey selection shall remain hidden in the winter months have no fear the top layer of my kit is a completely rad-tastic jacket.   

Hope everyone had a good Christmas!

 Did you happen to see the art I am selling to raise money for the Tour de Cure this year?  There are 3 left of the first offering and I have started work on the second run of cycling art.  Here is a hint of what it will look like. 

Just a little hint

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