It was March 2009 when I set a two part goal for myself.
- Lose 100 pounds in 2009
- Get off all medication by July 2009
Simple right? Not exactly.
Here is the back story:
For more than a decade (or longer) I have been lazy…and fat…and ignorant…and just plain stupid about my health. I used to eat like a man on death row, I used to smoke like my head was on fire, and I used to make fun of people that took their health seriously (read again the part about being ignorant and stupid). That changed one day in a Doctors office when the question was asked of me “Do you want to live to see 40?” No lie that is exactly what he said. Now on a good day I have a deep disdain for doctors, but this guy was different. I was a new patient and this was our first meeting. He was genuinely concerned for my health more so than I was in fact. He is a young doc and has a propensity to interject cursing into his normal conversation he lacks that certain smug attitude that makes me dislike most doctors. He does not beat around the bush he gets right after it. The other bonus is he can, and will, spend a ton of time talking with you unlike the rest of the Hippocratic Oath crowd that spend on average 4 minutes in a room. He sat down and started reviewing my record, then he cursed me out….loudly I might add.
That’s when he said it “Do you want to live to see 40?” I had never thought of it that way and I admitted that to him. I was told I need to be on the long term health plan not the 5 year plan because the 5 year plan was just that….5 years. I left the office more angry at myself than I think I have ever been. I had been thinking about going on a diet for a while, now was the time. So later that week I started it, I don’t call it a diet though I call it a lifestyle change or a lifestyle assassination. Everything had to change, no more smoking and no more eating the same way. I adopted a eating regimen so radical it left blank expressions on the every persons face I tried to explain it to. I became a Vegan…I will pause for a few minutes while the smelling salts bring you back to consciousness….all better? …need a drink of water? …ok cool lets continue.
So there it is a eating routine almost completely void of all fats and cholesterol and sugar and sodium and all of the other yucky stuff that makes me a lard butt with blood you could see bacon bits in. The second part of the plan was to get myself, Mr. Fatty Pants, into an exercise program. Since I am but a lowly Civil Servant I don’t exactly have the “Benjamins” to join a fancy club have a personal trainer and such so I joined a local club famous for their cheap monthly dues. I started and was making some progress not much but some and battled boredom walking on treadmills, lifting weights and pedaling on a stationary bike like a mindless drone. Then it hit me one day and I was peddaling….I have two bikes at home “get your flabby posterior on the bikes for crying out loud” (I will take this opportunity now to tell you I talk to myself and I have found out I am not a nice person to myself) so I got the bikes off of the wall where they were covered in the dust of neglect and started riding again……the rest is in the blog people….read it at your leisure.