Swine Flu….Day 2

The weapons needed to help a family of 4 combat H1N1

Overall I give the Swine Flu or H1N1 a D- as far as pandemics go.  I have felt worse the morning after a hard night drinking.  For all of the hype this thing got it failed to deliver the bed ridden for days sucker punch.  In fact the only way we are hurting right now (because all 4 of us have it) is the medication side effects.  All of our stomachs are killing us all crampy and gross feeling.  I will now give the mass media an F- for the hype. 

So what does one do when he is forced to stay in the house for days on end?  Well he beaches his craft on the shore and burns his boat….allow me to explain.  I have had a closet full of clothes, clothes that are much too big for me now.  Shirts that I swim inside of, pants that are a full 10 sizes too large, and belts that when tightened still are much too large.  Why did I keep this closet full of stuff?  Fearing I would eventually return to my fat ass self one day, that’s why.  I made a decision that I am no longer on a vegan diet, I decided I am living a vegan lifestyle.  Diets are the things you are on for a few months, you lose a little weight and then you inevitably fall off the wagon and gain it all back.  I have decided I am not going to be “that guy”.  I sorted through it all and made huge 3 foot tall piles on my bed, packed it into garbage bags and gave them all away….therefore I have landed on a new shore and set fire to my boat, never shall I return to that land again, so help me God.

There is enough fabric here to make a new sails for a very large boat.

I have been cleared to ride tomorrow and I have also been cleared to go back to work.  I went and visited my Doctor this morning whom I have not seen for a few months and he again was all smiles when it came time for the weigh in.  He is sending me for blood work on Friday so I can see where my once record shattering high cholesterol is these days.